Like…how are your words just like all of theirs? How the FUCK are your hangs up similar to THEIRS? How the fuck am I supposed to sit there and TAKE THAT FROM YOU?
Once again I’m the problem because a guy who can’t COME TO TERMS WITH HIMSELF, doesn’t like what I’m saying, what I’m asking, JUST SO I CAN HELP.
Motherfuckingfuckfuck, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Why do I fall for guys like these? Why do I involve myself in relationships where I try to help, put all my SHIT on the back burner just to get burned when shit hits the fan and THEY can’t deal? And I thought this would be different.
Fuck outta here.
YOU WANT TO BE NEGATIVE, LETHARGIC, AND A FAT FUCK FOR THE REST OF YOUR FUCKING LIFE. You don’t WANT to better yourself, you don’t want to do more, you don’t want to move off your mom’s fucking couch. DON’T BLAME ME FOR THAT SHIT.
I’M NOT THERE. I LET PEOPLE WALK ALL THE FUCK OVER ME FOR YEARSSSSSSSSSSSSS, YEARS, AND WHEN I FINALLY STOOD UP I SWORE I’D NEVER LET THAT SHIT HAPPEN AGAIN, BUT HERE THE FUCK I AM LETTING YOU SAY THAT SHIT TO ME.
FUCK YOU. FUCK THIS SHIT. HOW THE FUCK DARE YOU.
Everything’s so hard for you and all this shit but when I was dealing with my shit you couldn’t handle it, couldn’t handle the fact that I don’t just run and jump into everything without FUCKING THINKING FIRST. But it’s okay WHEN YOU DO IT. IT’S OKAY WHEN YOU NEED THE TIME TO GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. FUCK OUT OF HERE. YOU’RE THE BIGGEST FUCKING HYPOCRITE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
I’m not shedding a fucking tear. Fuck outta here. I’m done crying over bitch ass niggas like you. Done beating myself over being ‘good enough’ for you niggas when I’M SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU. Man the fuck up and get over all this whiny petty shit.
I’m done caring.
Go through all your whiny, self repression shit yourself. This is me, not reaching out anymore, not calling anymore, not putting in any effort to talk to you or be with you anymore.
like you’re a whiny little bitch and for the love of the gods i don’t know why i’m with you when SHIT LIKE THIS IS STILL A PROBLEM. you have massive psychological problems and you need to get that shit checked out, NOT take it out on your girlfriend that’s trying to understand YOUR mind because you KEEP IT LOCKED THE FUCK AWAY.
logic? do you have it? or do you just think the answer to life’s problem are to just ignore everything and boo and hoo that no one’s there for you or you don’t have the ‘drive’ to do shit when bitch YOU DO. shut the fuck up.
what happened to telling me ‘oh i think of myself much higher than i come across’ then SHOW IT. THAT SHIT IS HOT. confidence IS HOT. getting up every morning and going for a walk is HOT. your self esteem is at fucking zero because you’re fucking lame.
gods i’m so much STRONGER than you, it blows my mind. i guess thats the advantage of having been taken advantage of my entire life. you MADE your life hard on yourself with all your choices and shit. I couldn’t see any other way than to live my life the way it was dealt till I understood I HAD a choice. so i started making them
Whatever it is, let it break your frightened heart wide open, on this day of all days. Let it shatter your conclusions, humble you, make you soft and flexible. Pain is not a block, nor an enemy, nor a cosmic mistake, but a deafening call to focus on what’s essential, Now.
had intense dream. i was hiding from some woman who wouldnt approve of my practices and the first time i went into some room filled with water to meditate. i was to submerge myself completely in the water and meditate. i can no longer remember what it did but once i was done, i did this again, hiding from the woman, but the third time, i was told to move many balloons around on the ceiling. i submerged myself and grabbed a silk cloth adn something else (white) that was in the water, and as i submerged and returned to the surface, i floated, and stared at the balloons and it was very easy to send them all shaking. one wasnt moving and i turned my attention to it and one next to it shook causing it to begin to move as well.
it was a lot of mind power. and i still hold the feeling of it in my head.
i think i know what it means for my waking life. :)
" Being a Witch is a calling, it is driven by something inside you. It is a deep compulsive need to discover the path. Its not about wearing a black cloak, holding a wand, casting spells and making things sparkle! Its about understanding nature, energy, the life force of the Earth and the Universe, about being one with it all. It is about years of study, learning, understanding and FAILING!! No one just picks up a crystal ball and can see within. You have to learn to concentrate, to focus, to let go before you can see. It takes years to become what you need to be, its not a passing fad, its a way of life. It is DEDICATION."
Upon reading this I’m forced to confront the thing I’ve had an issue with on my path - letting go successfully. I wonder if that’s why I’ve been led where I have…to ‘let go’ so that all things can simply come to me. Hmm.
The intention of this curse is the steal the heart of the victim. It will make them unhappy, essentially. It’s really simple.
representation of the intended victim
dagger or knife to represent the Spear
a green candle
Prepare your victim representation, draw it, make it, all that jazz.
Take your sharp dagger/knife and pierce the representation about where the heart would be, saying: “You have heart. I could use that. What was your happiness is now mine. Feel the joylessness of life that you cause until you get the message.”
Light a gray or white candle, and place before it the Chariot card from your favorite tarot deck. Take a good look at the card, meditate on it. The charioteer is strong, determined, but above all, they are balanced. Now, write a list of the things you wish to improve in your life so you may achieve balance — a better diet, financial control, better relationships, and so on. After you complete the list, say the following:
West, east, south, and north, As the Chariot I go forth; Careful in thought, word and deed, I have the strength to succeed.
Extinguish the candle. Take a moment every day (or whenever you might feel overwhelmed in life) to light the candle, chant the incantation and read over the list.
Notes: this can be easily modified for use of a different card that you may feel a stronger connection with.
“Do any modern day religionists ever stop to consider what living in harmony with nature actually means? It means survival of the fittest, death to the weak, live and let die, kill or be killed. Living in harmony with nature does not mean collecting crystals, chanting to the goddess and lighting candles to heal the earth. Nature isn’t all love, peace and baby animals. Nature is birth, sex, instincts, survival, predator and prey. It is fangs, flesh and fucking.”—
and I shake my head. It’s not the same to buy that which you can make for your altar. I can understand for collecting, just because it’s pretty, but why would you want to sacrifice a personal connection to a handmade item for gaudy baubles and beads on a flashy wand?